1amirasyraf's Blog

share anything and everything in our lives

Long Distance Relationship

on 10/25/2011

Have you ever been apart from your love ones? I have and this is my story.
My personal experience in my marriage which have created thousands of turbulence, tsunamis which has done some damaged on our emotional feelings. Hubby works in oil&gas industry; has managed his career path beautifully, I might say. I am proud of him, though sometimes trying to understand his job description can be confusing. Now, he is in Iraq. Am I worried, he’s there? Of course. When he first told me that he has accepted a job in Iraq, my heart just went berserk. First thought was he was “leaving” me to handle my special need son & other son and do not want to take any kind of responsibility on us. Before he left, we had several arguments because I felt that he did not do “enough”, didn’t even thought of how I will cope up without him. I was so furious at him, thinking he was selfish, he just want to escape from “facing” our special need child. I was definitely wrong.

A week went by when he’s not around, I had an emotional breakdown. I find it really tough handling my two boys; with their tantrums, etc. Having to do everything on my own from A-Z, was really tiring. I did not have much sleep, worrying about the kids & our safety. I felt like screaming my lungs out, but couldn’t, I quickly turn to Allah, ask for guidance & strength. Alhamdulillah, I slowly regain some strength. Somehow, my kids were able to manage themselves which made our daily routine easier. Handling my special needs child was a big challenge for me and at times I just broke down in tears and managed to “calm” him & me throughout our days.

I always find it hard to communicate with hubby. Our expectations are different. The way we communicate is different. Sometimes I felt that hubby is in another world and I am just another alien to him. Yahoo Messenger (YM) gave us opportunity to communicate. We had our first argument on YM. Yeah, we really did argue on YM. How? Well, I was my usual self, kept on blaming him for all the things happen though I know some of it was not really his fault but using my emotional hat, typing everything out of anger. Though no sounds coming out of my mouth just my fingers typing all the words with my tears rolling my cheek. I felt half-satisfied. Then came his reply on the chat box. I read it through. Suddenly I realized. *PONG* He’s risking his life in Iraq to give us a better life especially my special need child. He’s there so that we have extra $$$ to support any possible treatment or therapy for our child. Ya Allah, what have I done. I cried all night, realizing I WAS SELFISH. I prayed for Allah’s forgiveness for having all these negative thoughts and feelings in me.

Alhamdulillah, I am able to pick up the pieces calmly and managed our days without hubby by our side. With that online argument we had, made us better persons in communicating with each other. Now, communication with hubby has grown to a new level. I’ve also realized long distance do bring out the “real you”; hubby is a “quiet” person in person but chatting with him online made me see the other side of him. Maybe I have never given hubby the chance to “talk” anything whenever he’s around. A HUGE lesson for me these past week has mould me into a “new” person, insyaAllah.

Here are some quotes that was shared by my cousin (Dr. Rozieta Shaary), thank you for sharing, it really open up my heart & eyes…
“When challenges come into your life, recognize that they are actually your teachers to teach you who you are. When you have learn from those challenges, you will find your greatness and you will realize how much God loves you. Always operate from the place of love in facing whatever life challenges. You will find serenity and total peace. The Message Is LOVE”

“Love is the answer to every problem because all problems are caused by the lack of love. The universe was created from the energy of love. When we operate our life from the place of lack of love – our ‘self’ is very much at a dis-ease. With the mind that is at a dis-ease, the decision taken will not serve the world nor the ‘self’. The Message Is LOVE”

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